Random Rumblings

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Letter to dunno-who

To: Dunno-who@hopefullythisplanet.com

Subject: Confused

Arrright. I am sure its all natural to get confused at this junction. But what the hell, I don't even have an idea what I'm confused about.

One, the ability, or the scope is not a good motivation enough to go for somethin'.

Yes, I might be capable of becomin' and gettin' into engineerin'. But what the heck, I am not interested in it. As simple as that. Its got scope yes, and technical jobs do pay, but, again, I'm simply not interested. Else its gonna end up into nightmare, this time a four-year one, with no way out. What am I gonna do then? Like it is now. Science doesn't interest me one bit, for one reason or the other. And its draggin' and I hate it, this way.

Another thing, I have an idea of what doesn't interest me. The bigger problem is I have no clue what really interests me. And no, I don't have one of those wacko soundin' academic interest people around me seem to have - wildlife, airforce, surgeon, pilot, architect, lawyer, psychologist. No I seem to have absolutely got no way, none which I can see.

Except, yes, business-entrepreneurship. That creates an interest. I like it. I like people. I like gettin' most out of them, makin' most use out of there differences, understandin' what affects the motion and stuff like that. And readin' stuff like that. But thats it, I can't seem to able to put the rest of interest in words. Is that enough? I did score a 24/30 in Forbes Born-Ent. test. And the last page said, "so what are you waitin' for? Start raisin' capital". I know, I shouldn't let that get into my head, it might turn out to be a catastrophe. But I am interested, if nothin' else.

And what are the chances that I succeed in it? But then, what are the chances that I succeed in anythin'. Its all about takin' the good ones and avoidin' the bad ones, isn't it?

Would I take the risk?

Please don't reply,

So what am I up to? Am I just cribbin'. Is it that I just don't want to study? Have I lost the ability to pursue any interest, rational or irrational, academically? Is it plain mockery of time or is it something genuine? Did all what I tried tellin' was crap? What am I gonna do about it? Should I just leave all this, go home and open my high school text book, hopin' everythin' falls into place?


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