Random Rumblings


Sunday, April 24, 2005

Soul searching...

I'm convinced that this anxiety running thru my life is the tension between what
"I should be" and what "I am". My anxiety doesn't come from thinking about the
future, but from wanting to control it. It seems to begin whenever I smuggle
into my mind an expectation about how I or others should be. It is the tension
between my desire to control the world... and the recognition that I can't.

Why do I judge my day with how much I have accomplished, instead of what
I have exprienced?

Why do we need to divide up, classify and neatly
package every new acquaintance? For me to try to classify something so complex
as a fellow human merely demonstrates my own shallowness. A judgement of another
person is an abstraction that adds qualities which are not there and leaves out
what is unique. When I classify individuals I turn them into non-living objects.
The only way for me to contact other people is to experience them, not think
about them..


5 Comments:

  • Do some soul-searching dude...seriously. Re=read your last three posts. You are the most self-pityous person I have ever come across! If you didn't focus so much on you "miserable life", things might not seem so terrible.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 25, 2005 11:30 AM  

  • My life is not miserable! Its nice. What is there is what I see it like when I close my eyes and refuse to be myself, in a way rising above it. Don't dare to call it terrible...

    By Blogger Gates, at May 01, 2005 8:38 PM  

  • Why the hell WOULD you close your eyes and refuse to be yourself?! What a stupid thing to do!! This is what happens when people try TOO hard to be philosophical - it ends up sounding like crap.

    Kudos that your life isn't terrible - stop making it seem like it is. "Refusing to be yourself" what nonsense

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2005 11:43 AM  

  • Thats what you think. A problem can be solved by rising above it, taking a bird's eye view of it, not being a part of it. Probably all this sounds crap to you because you don't agree with it, now that doesn't matter to me... :-)

    By any chance, do I know you?

    By Blogger Gates, at May 07, 2005 9:56 PM  

  • That doesn't make sense, since the fact that your "rising above the problem" IS your problem since you are "refusing to be yourself".
    Stop trying to sound more deep than you can be or is necessasry for that matter.

    And no.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 13, 2005 7:14 AM  

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