Letter to dunno-who

To: Dunno-who@hopefullythisplanet.com

Subject: Confused

Arrright. I am sure its all natural to get confused at this junction. But what the hell, I don't even have an idea what I'm confused about.

One, the ability, or the scope is not a good motivation enough to go for somethin'.

Yes, I might be capable of becomin' and gettin' into engineerin'. But what the heck, I am not interested in it. As simple as that. Its got scope yes, and technical jobs do pay, but, again, I'm simply not interested. Else its gonna end up into nightmare, this time a four-year one, with no way out. What am I gonna do then? Like it is now. Science doesn't interest me one bit, for one reason or the other. And its draggin' and I hate it, this way.

Another thing, I have an idea of what doesn't interest me. The bigger problem is I have no clue what really interests me. And no, I don't have one of those wacko soundin' academic interest people around me seem to have - wildlife, airforce, surgeon, pilot, architect, lawyer, psychologist. No I seem to have absolutely got no way, none which I can see.

Except, yes, business-entrepreneurship. That creates an interest. I like it. I like people. I like gettin' most out of them, makin' most use out of there differences, understandin' what affects the motion and stuff like that. And readin' stuff like that. But thats it, I can't seem to able to put the rest of interest in words. Is that enough? I did score a 24/30 in Forbes Born-Ent. test. And the last page said, "so what are you waitin' for? Start raisin' capital". I know, I shouldn't let that get into my head, it might turn out to be a catastrophe. But I am interested, if nothin' else.

And what are the chances that I succeed in it? But then, what are the chances that I succeed in anythin'. Its all about takin' the good ones and avoidin' the bad ones, isn't it?

Would I take the risk?

FYI,
Please don't reply,
Gates

So what am I up to? Am I just cribbin'. Is it that I just don't want to study? Have I lost the ability to pursue any interest, rational or irrational, academically? Is it plain mockery of time or is it something genuine? Did all what I tried tellin' was crap? What am I gonna do about it? Should I just leave all this, go home and open my high school text book, hopin' everythin' falls into place?

Confusin', what is real?

Crawlin' in my skin,
These wounds, they will not heal.
Fear is how I fall,
Confusing, what is real?

There’s somethin' inside me that pulls beneath the surface,
Consumin', confusin'.
This lack of self-control I fear is never endin',
Controllin', I can’t seem.

Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced,
There’s just too much pressure to take.
To find myself again, my walls are closin' in,
I’ve felt this way before, so insecure.

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me,
Distractin', reactin'.
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection,

It’s hauntin' how I can’t seem.

Pinky Pug

I can't believe they did that. How could they commit such a fiasco.

"Hutch turns its logo color to PINK". Pink? Pink! What the #$@&.

I was a Hutch customer till last June 19. And wouldn't have changed for nuts, had I not lost Emily. Imagine, I chose it over SRK's AirTel. (This causes a sudden change in me, of how I miss Emily, I'm cryin', err.. almost. All those moments spent with her. Oh. :-( )

Why? Why would they ever take such a bold step. And pink its no ordinary color. Its the most contriversial color, after blue (Or other way, he he). Its pinky, girly, absolutely feminine and torture to eyes.

And it doesn't go with the brand. Imagine Rahul Dravid, the great grand brand ambassador of Hutch draped in pink shirt and a pink trousers (And even the unders, if he is paid for it).

Or for that matter, a Honda Accord in Pink color. Imagine how would that look.

If anyone gets to know about why are they tryin' to commit suicide like this, just lemme know.

Rahul in pink, glee...