Random Rumblings

Monday, January 31, 2005


Or the vengeance (n. something justly deserved; recompense.)

Its one of the things I don't like about myself, yet I can't help it. Those slight things which SHOULD go unnoticed, make a impression on my mind. I don't know why, someone irritating me at the wrong time, not doing what I asked him to do, small things get stuck. I don't forget them, even if I want to...

I reciprocate, without letting the person know

My frozen eyes rarely show the real emotions. I don't let emotions guide me. Dont try scratching the part that's hurt. It cause immense pain.

The positive side... Its double edged. If someone extends something, I never forget it. Even if it was a very small gesture. Its one of the reasons why I am often paralyzed to act against some people. I help him in whatever way...that too without letting the person know.

God forbid you piss me off
God forbide you cross my path
You realized it or not, if I noticed it
Later or sooner you will face the wrath

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


I slept...take a guess 15 hours (breaking my previous record of 13 hours).

These days I have started finding sleep inevitable. I sleep almost anywhere... bus, class, lab or even while standing. Dunno why but sleeping gives me a huge peace of mind from the cruel realities of this (nice?) world. And yes I wonder if it sounds out of world, but I can think when I am sleeping. Sleeping to me is more like a semi conscious state of mind than...sleep itself ;-)

Let the world sleep in peace...

Monday, January 24, 2005

Food alone...

I don't know why and seems very akward to me considering kind of food junky I am, I hate eating food alone.

While the English people have a enjoyable 2hr lunch, we just cram everything as soon as possible. To them its not just food, its recreation

Yesterday was Sunday, in a way eating-out day. But I didn't have my lunch because I didn't have anyone to lunch with. Ya some calls and I would have landed up with a person, but as far as I know, I just need someone to sit with and eat (not keep talking).

Also, I get most pissed off when someone disturbs me while eating or sleeping. I don't know if it applies to everyone or just me. Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't get so choosy.

Sunday, January 23, 2005


Originally uploaded by Janusfinder.
I don't really know what i like about this picture...the sweet looking child. The not to be missed secret smile, or the background, or just the picture. Lovely

Friday, January 21, 2005


Just Breathe...: Spiderman, finally hmmm... sounds like me torn between a thousand worlds, each of them demanding, each of them cruel, but each of them equally dear to me. Don't know which on to trust. I need a hand to hold. Probably I should go out, somewhere where no one knows me and get myself a life.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Struggle Forever?

"There was a butterfly struggling out of pupa. A young boy saw it. His heart melted and he promptly helped the butterfly to come out. The butterfly died after few minutes. Moral: Struggle is indispensable."

That was the story told by someone at the camp. I liked it, for it made perfect sense. And now I hate it because people, read devils, are overreacting in making us "artificially struggle". Yes! What they do now is to forcefully push the butterfly in deeper and tell them that struggle will make them better (can't that kill as well?), or setup a timetable defining how the butterfly should come out (heard something called naturally?), or they keep telling the butterfly to work hard and come out flying colors (how many people take that?), or the "little push" they give when you are stuck (how many of you fell down and got hurt?) Bloody impracticality of the camp!!!

My parents in 10th kept telling "Its the first and the most important step (on shit) ". Now they tell me that once you get into a good mechanical shitty camp...life is rosy there after. I bet its still sick. Ask the ones who are there. They do three things..cram, cram and cram. After that find a job (try that when we have engineers coming out in Kilos) and once on job always on job. (My uncle...IITian. Some don't-know-what GM still works from 4 in the morning to 8 in the evening) .The damn struggles will be there FOREVER. I bet my pants on that.

Why look for roses in horizon? They too have thorns. You don't see them till you get near. Why can't they just leave it on us??????? We are humans too, not some supercomputers (had I been one, the way they are TRYING to overclock me, I would have burnt out anyway). Jeez... can anyone get some money from the Prime minister RELIEF fund for me?


Subtitles database - OpenSubtitles.org